12 Bizarre Must-See Movies

I realized the other day that while my specialty is social media blogging/writing, I don't have too many modern articles that employ strategies frequented by online writers. Lists are an excellent way to catch the readers' attention: people with short attention spans are drawn to them because of the short descriptions, the blatancy of the list items, and the pictures. I came up with this prompt alone as an example piece. It is currently up for grabs - I will sign it over to a publisher (even release a ghost copy) for a fair price. Ask about my rates.

We all have a list of favorite movies. Some of us like comedies, and others, action. Some people prefer horror while the rest of us like romance. But what about the movies so bizarre and weird that they don't really belong on any list? The following movies aren't necessarily good or bad - they're just downright strange.

#12 - I'm a Cyborg But That's OK (2006)

Starring: Su-jeong Lim, Rain

Rated: 7.2/10

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If you have the capacity to sit through a film with subtitles or a pension for cheesy romance, then you can't miss this foreign film.

Young-Goon (Su-Jeong Lim) is a young lady who lives with her mother and “granny” in Korea. Raised primarily by her granny who claims to be a mouse and eats only pickled radishes, Young-Goon soon finds out that she, too, is not human...but a cyborg.

After her granny is taken to the sanitarium, Young-Goon is placed in a psych ward. In order to survive, she must abide by a strict code for cyborgs: no love, no sympathy, and no food. A young kleptomaniac (Korean pop-star, Rain) is intrigued by the cyborg and plays along with her to make her happy. But as he begins to fall for her, he must choose between giving into her fantasy or keeping her alive and helping her eat before she starves herself to death.

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With the help of the hospital staff, the thief and the rest of Young-Goons colorful new friends, she may yet get through these trying times and come to terms with the condition of her granny...and of course, with being a cyborg!

(If you like this movie, you may also like: K-pop, crazy women, yodeling, and debauchery.)

#11 - Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

Starring: John Call, Leonard Hicks

Rated: 2.4/10

Available on Netflix!

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This is an excellent movie to watch during Christmas time...or never, because it's so terrible. The plot is only as bad as its actors, and the movie received the horrendous rating of 2.4/10.

Martian children begin watching Earth-programs, namely, an infomercial put out by Santa Claus (John Call) from the North Pole regarding his toy-crafting. When the Martian children begin to wonder what Christmas is, or why they don't have any toys, a martian father named Kimar (Leonard Hicks) becomes concerned. After speaking with a sagely Martian, a coalition of alien-dads are ordered to bring Christmas to Mars by capturing the jolly old elf. And who should stop the martians but a pair of siblings set on saving Santa Claus so that Earth can continue to experience the joys of Christmas.

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Watch Santa win the martians over and entertain a buffoon named Droppo while never actually conquering anything. This 1964 film was so awful that it was picked up by Mystery Science Theater 3000, who added gut-busting commentary to the film. That version is definitely worth a watch!

(If you like this movie, you may also like: throwing acid into your eyes.)

#10 - Vampire Hookers (1978)

Starring: John Carradine

Rated: 3.1/10

rottentomatoes.com

No, it's not a porno...this is a real movie, complete with real actors and a real plot.

Two sailors on shore leave bide their free time by wanting to hook up while they have the chance. But the women that they end up meeting aren't your average run-of-the-mill concubines: they're actually vampires, working for a misogynistic leader (John Carradine) keen on sucking humans dry...their blood, that is. The  gentlemen have to escape the wrath of these beautiful vampires and their cohort, but not before doing what every man sets out to do in life: get laid.

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The film was made in 1978 and includes one of the longest and most boring sex scenes in cinematic history. Surprisingly enough, the plot isn't terrible, just mildly awful.

(If you like this movie, you may also like: having an interesting but unfruitful sex life.)

#9 - Fido (2006)

Starring: Bill Connolly, Kesun Loder

Rated: 6.8/10

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Every little boy needs a companion...why not a zombie?

This story follows a young boy (Kesun Loder) living in a “what-if” scenario based in the zombie-infested 1950s. After a hoard of zombies descended upon America, the government re-purposed them to be human servants. Now, everybody who is somebody owns a zombie slave.

One boy comes home to find that his parents have purchased a zombie (Billy Connolly.) The child and his new zombie become quick friends. But their friendship is tested as “Fido,” as the boy calls him, begins to eat townsfolk and cause trouble for the locals.

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This movie is terribly witty and charming, offering a new take on companionship and unlikely friendships.

(If you like this movie, you may also like: Exotic pets, the upper-middle class, or shock collars.)

#8 - The Interview (2014)

Starring: Seth Rogen, James Franco, Randall Park

Rated: 6.8/10

Available on Netflix!

usatoday.com

The movie The Interview made the top 12 for one reason: it was so awkward and offensive that Sony Pictures received terror threats and had to cancel movie showings.

Everybody knows that America and North Korea aren't best friends. The Interview takes that and uses it to make its audience horrifyingly uncomfortable by following the assassination attempt of president Kim Jong-un (Randall Park,) son of the late Kim Jong-il.

Two journalists (Seth Rogen and James Franco) decide to interview President Kim. When a government agency catches wind of this, they pay the men to drug the president during the interview, which will end his life. But President Kim might not be such a bad guy, and killing him turns out to be much more difficult than anticipated.

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Between President Kim's mastery of deception and love for Katy Perry, the movie displays humorous and awkward scenarios that are sure to rile up the audience.

(If you like this movie, you may also like: puppies, evil dictators or Katy Perry.)

#7 - The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra (2001)

Starring: Larry Blamire, Fay Masterson

Rated: 7.0/10

en.wikipedia.org

A rip on classic monster movies, this modern film consists of pure comedy and witty one-liners. Based in the fifties but made in 2001, the film is shot in black and white and contains a cast of fresh, talented actors. Although the movie isn't well-known, it got a lot of praise from its fans and was rated 7/10.

When a meteor crashes down on Earth, scientist Paul Armstrong (Larry Blamire) is quick on the scene to recover a very rare and useful mineral called “atmospherium.” Little does Dr. Armstrong know that he isn't the only one seeking this mineral: aliens whose ship has crashed on Earth also need the element to repair their ship, and a cursed skeleton needs the atmospherium to come back to life and wreak havoc. The fight for atmospherium begins, and with it comes hilarious mistrust, antics and drama.

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Each party interrupts the other in their quest to obtain the meteor's resources. Upon this ground, unlikely friendships are forged, and defeating the Lost Skeleton of Cadavra becomes a primary objective in order to obtain the atmospherium. But who will get to it first?

(If you like this movie, you may also like: Mystery Science Theater 3000, or perhaps evil skeletons.)

#6 - Edge of Tomorrow (2014)

Starring: Tom Cruise, Emily Blunt

Rated: 8.0/10

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This movie, much like Groundhog Day, tells the story of a man who is fated to relive the same day over and over.

Cage (Tom Cruise) is unexpectedly forced to serve in the military in a vicious battle against aliens. He inexplicably wakes one day to discover that he is reliving yesterday. This gives Cage the opportunity to find answers that are key in defeating the aliens and discovering a cure for this strange phenomenon.

With the help of super-soldier Rita (Emily Blunt,) Cage stands a slim but fighting chance against the aliens. But only through practice and diligence can Cage and Rita defeat their insanely strong opponents and restore peace to earth.

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This movie is incredibly dramatic and action-packed. It didn't receive half of the acclaim it deserved (mostly due to its untimely release,) but several people who have seen it have rated this movie very highly.

(If you like this movie, you may also like: Neill Blomkamp movies, Commander Shepard or tentacle monsters.)

#5 - Heavenly Creatures (1994)

Starring: Kate Winslet, Melanie Lynskey

Rated: 7.5/10

Available on Netflix!

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 Pauline Parker (Melanie Lynskey) is a teen girl with a rather boring life, having yet to find herself. After meeting sickly transfer student Juliet Hulme (Kate Winslet in her debut role,) both of their lives change to revolve solely around each other and the fantasy world they've created to escape reality.

Pauline and Juliet feel that life, including their school and parents, has little to offer and begin to develop a realm of fantasy that they can retreat to at will. But their parents become concerned for the girls when their relationship becomes too distant from everyone else, and strangely close with one another.

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This dark romance shows that these women will do anything it takes to be together. The more their relationship develops, the harder it becomes to maintain...and the more wild their fantasies become. What lengths will Pauline and Juliet go to to achieve bliss and desire?

(If you like this movie, you may also like: having a psycho girlfriend or playing make-believe.)

#4 - The Tall Man (2012)

Starring: Jessica Biel

Rated: 6.0/10

Available on Netflix!

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The Tall Man is based on the meme known as “Slender Man,” a tall, shadowy figure that is claimed to appear similarly in two old photographs.

Julia (Jessica Biel) plays a strong female lead set on retrieving her son from the Tall Man's grasp. However, all isn't what it seems to be in this small town, and Julia's point of view becomes questionable.

As children continue to go missing, Julia and the other townsfolk seek to discover who or what the Tall Man is so that they can find out where he has been taking their children, and why. Although the existence of the Tall Man is pure speculation, children are going missing, and it needs to be stopped.

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The uniqueness of this movie lies within a mechanic that makes the audience unsure of what's real and what's fake; who is right and who is wrong. The only way to find out is to listen carefully to the dialogue and pay close attention to detail. That is the only way that the viewers, or Julia for that matter, will ever find answers revealing a very unexpected ending.

(If you like this movie, you may also like: internet memes, strong female leads or kidnapping children.)

#3 - The Awakening (2011)

Starring: Rebecca Hall, Dominique West

Rated: 6.5/10

Available on Netflix!

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While there is a world of believers out there, skeptics are also in great supply. Florence Cathcart (Rebecca Hall) is a female graduate student in England, a tremendous achievement for a woman of her time. Her job is simply to disprove otherworldly phenomena by using old-fashioned ways of debunking the paranormal.

Florence Cathcart's life takes an interesting turn when a boy's boarding school experiences the death of one of its students who claimed to have seen a ghost before he died. The only evidence of the ghost is a series of school photographs which all appear to have the same distorted figure standing with the boys. Florence intends to prove that there is no ghost.

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This strong female lead is determined to get to the bottom of the strange events at the school. With the help of the headmistress (Imelda Staunton,) a teacher (Dominique West) and the students, Florence soon discovers the unexpected truth behind the school's hauntings.

(If you like this movie, you may also like: contraptions, gizmos and hot English ladies.)

#2 - Pontypool (2008)

Starring: Stephen McHattie, Lisa Houle, Georgina Reilly

Rating: 6.7/10

Available on Netflix!

en.wikipedia.org

Zombie movies are in, and there have been so many types of infections and plagues its hard to keep up with. But none are as strange and specific as Pontypool's zombie infection.

When a famous local radio jockey (Stephen McHattie) and his crew get some unique reports to read on-air, things in Pontypool begin to turn sour. The world outside the station is turning into a dangerous place, and quickly. This team is determined to find some answers, especially when it becomes personal. But this infection isn't spreading by touch or by air. The means of transmission is much more dangerous...and something very hard to avoid.

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Once the infection spreads to the station, it's up to the crew to figure out how to beat it. But the more they know, the more dangerous it becomes.

(If you like this movie, you may also like: talking, mustaches, or speaking with a mustache.)

#1 - Little Miss Sunshine (2006)

Starring: Abigail Breslin, Steve Carell, Alan Arkin

Rated: 7.9/10

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Dysfunctional families have always been a basis for hilarity, but perhaps none are equally as motivating as Little Miss Sunshine.

This movie explores the life of a little girl named Olive (a young Abigail Breslin) whose dream is to win a beauty pageant. But Olive isn't the glamor-and-glitz type, and her family must do all they can to get her to California for the Little Miss Sunshine pageant in time to compete.

The family portrayed includes a variety of colorful characters, including: Olive's mother (Toni Collette) whose marital struggle is headed toward divorce, a father (Greg Kinnear) obsessed with winning, a brother (Paul Dano) who has taken a vow of silence, a suicidal uncle (Steve Carell), and a heroine-snorting grandpa (Alan Arkin.)

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Riding together in the same defective van turns out to be a trying experience for the whole family, who all try to get past their struggles to show support for little Olive. This movie is chocked full of comedy, awkward moments, and powerful scenes that will bring you close to tears.  

(If you like this movie, you may also like: used cars or heroine.)

Thanks to the International Movie Database (imdb.com) for ratings.